What got snuck past my firewall???

From: system changes (anonymous_at_discussions.microsoft.com)
Date: 07/09/04 

Date: Fri, 9 Jul 2004 09:01:30 -0700

Suddenly, the "you must restart your computer for system
changes to take affect" screen pops up, and I have not
accepted any requests to permit downloads. There have also
been no messages from symantic or ms concerning waiting
updates, and the firewall is on. So I use the search
feature limited to today, and discover that besides the
two live update activities, a dll file in c/program
files/comet has been accessed, and without my permission.
And i cannot delete dmserver.exe (in comet) because it
is "in use." (I closed everything to free this file, and
am now afraid to restart my machine for fear i cannot stop
what happens next!!!)
 would ms or symantic use their permissions to pass my
firewall and insert programming without telling me??
 How can i find out what is "pending" on my machine??

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