Re: A disturbing realization

From: Henry Stilmack - JAC System Admin (h.stilmack@jach.hawaii.edu)
Date: 10/03/02 

From: Henry Stilmack - JAC System Admin <h.stilmack@jach.hawaii.edu>
Date: Thu, 3 Oct 2002 12:57:55 +0900 (KST)

Text Medium wrote:
>
>HatchetMama wrote:
>>
>> On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 16:26:19 +1000, Optional Identity
>> <troll4UPAlaughs@meow.org> wrote:
>>
>> >On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 02:26:03 +0100, the notorious netabuser Peter J
>> >Ross <pjr@britishlibrary.net> attempted to break Usenet by posting
>> >this in alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk :
>> >
>> >>On Mon, 30 Sep 2002 11:22:59 +1000, the heavy rollers of
>> >>alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk squeezed the following precious
>> >>droplets from HatchetMama
>> >><HatchetMama@thiscomesoutimseeingatherapist.com>:
>> >>
>> >>>On Sun, 29 Sep 2002 01:48:13 -1000, Text Medium <Shonai@meow.org>
>> >>>wrote:
>> >>>
>> >>>>HatchetMama wrote:
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 21:38:40 -1000, Text Medium
<Shonai1@hotmail.com>
>> >>>>> wrote:
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> >HatchetMama wrote:
>> >>>>> >>
>> >>>>> >> On Sun, 22 Sep 2002 01:56:00 -1000, Text Medium
<Shonai1@hotmail.com>
>> >>>>> >> wrote:
>> >>>>> >>
>> >>>>> >> >Smee wrote:
>> >>>>> >> >>
>> >>>>> >> >> "Dan Nelson" <dnelson@black-hole.com> wrote in message
>> >>>>> >> >> news:3D8D5B14.556B3B9F@black-hole.com...
>> >>>>> >> >> > For *most* of us, the act of taking a crap is one of the
more private
>> >>>>> >> >> > parts of everyday life. After the age of 3 or 4, most folks
never
>> >>>>> >> >> > consult with other people on this act and how it is done.
Speaking for
>> >>>>> >> >> > myself, I tend to actively ignore the auditory evidence of
other
>> >>>>> >> >> > peoples' activities in this regard when necessary in a
public facility
>> >>>>> >> >> > as well.
>> >>>>> >> >> >
>> >>>>> >> >> > This is all as it most likely should be, and until now I
never gave the
>> >>>>> >> >> > matter a second thought. But a disturbing thought occurred
to me
>> >>>>> >> >> > tonight.
>> >>>>> >> >> >
>> >>>>> >> >> > I'm afraid my crapping technique may be outdated.
>> >>>>> >> >> >
>> >>>>> >> >> > What if other people have discovered a better way to wipe
their ass, for
>> >>>>> >> >> > instance? There may be a technologically superior way to
cleanse your
>> >>>>> >> >> > backside (those awful French
>> >>>>> >> >> > high-powered-drinking-fountains-for-your-ass
notwithstanding). Maybe
>> >>>>> >> >> > there's a new funnel-shaped device that obviates the need
for ex-lax
>> >>>>> >> >> > and/or kaopectate?! How would people know? Remember,
nobody talks
>> >>>>> >> >> > about this stuff. The closest you get is those cryptic
Preparation-H
>> >>>>> >> >> > commercials. Are there two or more classes of people,
separated only by
>> >>>>> >> >> > their access to excretory technology? A scatalogical
divide? Maybe
>> >>>>> >> >> > women have secrets about this, and have disguised it in
mixed company by
>> >>>>> >> >> > the code word "feminine hygiene" to prevent men from
enjoying the
>> >>>>> >> >> > resulting benefits?
>> >>>>> >> >> >
>> >>>>> >> >> Yes, we do. And now that you've stumbled upon this seekrit, we
hace to kill
>> >>>>> >> >> you.
>> >>>>> >> >
>> >>>>> >> >Imagine him thinking any woman might tell him about these
seekrits!!
>> >>>>> >> >
>> >>>>> >>
>> >>>>> >> But we =would= happily kill him, as Smee points out.
>> >>>>> >
>> >>>>> >Oh, yes. And Smee has her super dooper nuclear powered boomeranging
>> >>>>> >pointy stick at the ready at all times (she's constantly upgrading
the
>> >>>>> >thing, too).
>> >>>>> >
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> I like Smee's pointy stick. It's cool, and effective at stopping teh
>> >>>>> evuls of teh maths.
>> >>>>
>> >>>>Teh maths are an evul thing, and deserving of Smee's point stick.
>> >>>>
>> >>>
>> >>>Agreed. Evul evul maths.
>> >>>Bad math. Need spanking.
>> >>>And teh pointy stick.
>> >>>
>> >>>>> >> >> P.S. Over rollers rule!
>> >>>>> >> >
>> >>>>> >> >In houses with cats, under rolling is almost a necessity!
>> >>>>> >>
>> >>>>> >> No, no it's not.
>> >>>>> >> Train teh cats, dammit.
>> >>>>> >
>> >>>>> >Train cats? My cats? Mheh!
>> >>>>> >
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> Mine were so well trained that they let themselves in the bathroom,
>> >>>>> and beat each other up for playing with the toilet paper, and then
>> >>>>> told on each other.
>> >>>>
>> >>>><*respect*>
>> >>>>
>> >>>>Those are some extremely trained cats!
>> >>>>
>> >>>>Tigers? Or lions?
>> >>>
>> >>>Almost. One of them is a Maine Coon cat (19 lbs), the other two are
>> >>>just tabbys, but they're cool cats, and smart. Pfuffy, the Maine Coon
>> >>>cat, trained the other two. My daughter has them now.
>> >>>
>> >>>>> >> Over rollers rule!
>> >>>>> >
>> >>>>> >UNDER ROLLERS UNITE!!111!!
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> I'm telling Unky.
>> >>>>
>> >>>>Tattle tale.
>> >>>
>> >>>Uhyup.
>> >>>
>> >>>>> >> <snyip>
>> >>>>> >
>> >>>>> >Fine, be that way, then.
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> I will, and did!
>> >>>>> <sticks out tongue>
>> >>>>
>> >>>>I saw how you and Smee behaved on that last car trip, and I want
nothing
>> >>>>to do with your squabbling.
>> >>>>
>> >>>>I'll just sit in the front seat with "Unky".
>> >>>
>> >>>If he lets you.
>> >>>I'll ask him to put you in teh back with us, so we can play nice.
>> >>>
>> >>>>Neener.
>> >>>
>> >>>Neener neener.
>> >>>
>> >>>>> >> >--
>> >>>>> >> >Shon'ai, mhmless
>> >>>>> >>
>> >>>>> >> Are you waiting on your test result?
>> >>>>> >
>> >>>>> >No, I'm waiting on my procrastination to depart so I can get around
to
>> >>>>> >taking the test some day.
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> It's a fun test, really. With lots of questions, and I didn't get
test
>> >>>>> nerves for it or anything.
>> >>>>> But, since you haven't taken it yet, that means that =my= number
will
>> >>>>> be =lower= than yours!!!!!1! YAY! (Unless there really is a
>> >>>>> conspiracy.)
>> >>>>
>> >>>>So, you'll have a lower number than mine.
>> >>>>
>> >>>>That's okay, I don't mind.
>> >>>>
>> >>>>Spoils your fun, doesn't it? `;)
>> >>>
>> >>>Nah, not really. I know you rushed out and took teh test and are
>> >>>secretly hoping that we get batched at the same time, and the same
>> >>>thing happens with JRT and PJR, and you really do mind.
>> >>
>> >>JRT doesn't mind having an inferior mhm to mine, I'm sure.
>> >>
>> >>Tehee.
>> >>
>> >>>Neener.
>> >>
>> >>Yah boo sucks with brass knobs on and no returns!
>> >
>> >I KNOW it was the cheese fries you sent Jelliebun.
>> >
>> ><hint for any others who might *really* want a lower mhm>
>>
>> Shhhh...
>
>Oho!! So *that's* what you did with that recipe link jet posted!!
>
>You ... you ... *cook*, you!!
>
>Some folks will do almost anything for a marginally lower number...

We can otter it out of her. 

-- 
_______________________________________________________________________
Henry Stilmack                   )
Senior Systems Administrator     ) It is one thing to praise discipline
hps@jach.Hawaii.Edu              ) and another to submit to it. 
h.stilmack@jach.Hawaii.Edu       ) -- Cervantes

UK/Netherlands/Canada Joint Astronomy Centre   Tel: +1 808-969-6530
660 N. A'ohoku Place, Hilo, HI 96720           Fax: +1 808-969-6591
------------------------------------------------------------------------

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