Re: Screw Linux, I'm going back to Windows!

From: Steve Schreiber (
Date: 08/22/02

From: Steve Schreiber <>
Date: Wed, 21 Aug 2002 22:18:31 GMT

alt.mac is where you want to be. ;)

Andrew wrote:
> I would like a distro of Linux that is easy to install (with Windows
> on the same computer). I don't want to learn the easy to
> understand concept of partitions, such as primary, extended
> and logical. If I can't see them, they ain't there!
> I want this Linux distro to look and feel like Windows exactly.
> I want this Linux distro to be easily configured and installed
> (no brainer) like Windows.
> I want this Linux distro to be TOTALLY secure *cough like
> Windows. *wink *wink
> I want this Linux distro to be easily run with no documentation to
> read, since all those freakin' O'Reilly books are so God damn
> expensive, and the animals on the covers scare me.
> I want this Linux distro to recognize all my hardware, including
> my GeForce 4 video card. And if it doesn't I want someone to
> explain to me how to do this, since I don't want to go to the
> hardware homepage and actually do a search for the support
> page that tells me how to do this with Linux.
> I want this Linux distro to look all GUI for me, and I don't want
> to bother understanding the X Window System. Because that
> word, X Window System, makes me think of Windows and that
> gets me all excited and I get really confused.
> I want this Linux distro to come on one CD only, since Red Hat
> has like 5 ISO CDs and I'm too lazy to read the readme file to figure
> out which ones to download.
> I want this Linux distro to be easily run as a network but I don't
> want to know about any protocols, ip addressing, routers, switches,
> ipchains, iptables, or dns servers....But I consider myself an expert
> because I can telnet to a smtp server and send fake e-mail as
> I want this Linux distro to have open source software on it only,
> since closed source is evil. And I want this software to be
> completely supported by the vendor/author so I can complain
> when their free software doesn't work for me.
> I want this Linux distro to be fully supported by rpms, since .tar
> and .gz for that matter are funny to me and complicated to work
> with...and a Linux distro that doesn't require i386 and i686 stuff
> since I have a Dell.
> I want this Linux distro to be command line free. I mean, come
> on, which is it -help or --help or -h?!
> I want this Linux distro to be able to play my Windows games and
> run my Windows programs on it, and if WINE doesn't support them,
> I want to know the "secret" that all you Linux hackers know in order
> to run them. Come on, you guys know how!
> I want this Linux distro to be easily upgradeable to the newest and
> greatest kernel, even though I don't need it since I haven't installed
> any new hardware or software that isn't supported by the kernel I
> already use, and there are no known security issues with the
> current kernel I'm using...I still want to upgrade.
> I want this Linux distro to be the best distro out there, why? I don't
> know why or what I'm looking for exactly...I just want the best one
> out there....and I want it to look like Windows.
> Andrew
> postscript: Yes, I'm bored and looking to waste time. And if you
> think I'm serious or this isn't funny, then go blow monkeys.


--> Windows, A colourful clown-suit for DOS.

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